Is it better to keep your thoughts to yourself?

So let me give this blog a bit of Introduction...This blog is where I will be documenting the things that I went thru while I was a member of what I have come to finally recognize as nothing other than a modern day cult! I know, I know, when you see the word CULT, images automatically flash thru your minds eye of some far out homestead in a dry dusty area of some backwoods land, with a huge fence around the perimeter, maybe a guard posted outside and a large community of women who are all dressed the same and the men as well. Words like Manson Family, Branch Dividians and Jonestown may also flash when hearing the word. Trust me, it took me a long time to realize that not all CULTS are the same and not all are as openly blatant about. I would say there was always something gnawing at me in the back of my mind about the things that were going on and that were expected from us as members, and many times I saw people come and go under interesting circumstances, never leaving quietly for one reason or another, always using the word  cult to explain our churches behavior. So let me start at the beginning, which in my opinion is always a great place to start when telling a story.
     When I was younger, I believe I was about 12 years old, I was attending a exercise class with my two cousins, one older and one younger. One day they were talking about going to church, well honestly I had no desire at the time to attend church, but I wanted to spend more time with my cousins, so I somewhat invited myself to go with them one Wednesday night. When I went it was so amazing how wonderful everyone made me feel, I was fresh meat, young minded, naive and ready to be molded (unbeknownst to me). The youth was so warm and welcoming. I truly was made to feel at home. This feeling is what kept me coming back. A few short weeks later, on a Wednesday night I joined the church, my family following and joined with me the same night. So not only now am I responsible for bringing myself to this place, but my family and several friends (which weighs very heavy on my heart now). After joining a few weeks later, myself, my parents, brother and best friend were all baptised. Everything was so nice and wonderful, as most organized religions are in the beginning. I would see little things here and there that struck me as odd. Hearing tales of things that had happened before my time that kinda scared me a little. But not wanting to question my new found friendships and teachers I kept my mouth shut. Now thinking back, I wish that this was not my choice.